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No, we can. Right now. My nostrils flared. Just spit it out. Go on, it’s not hard. Tell me the truth.

I’d never missed someone as much as I missed him.Conner was more to me than a kid I shared an island with.

And now, he’d disappeared, leaving us to deal with the wreckage.I hated that he’d checked out and left us here.While Estelle punished herself for his death, I beat myself up for ever letting Conner take so many risks.

Why didn’t I go with him? Why didn’t I take over and force the boy to stay on the shore?I knew the answers to my questions: because Conner wouldn’t have accepted my ultimatums. If he was forbidden the ocean, he would’ve been in trees and broken his back. If he’d been denied fishing, he would’ve found some other risky pastime.

Just like ours hadn’t been when we’d crashed.

Pippa turned eleven but pleaded not to celebrate. She chose to spend the day cuddled in Conner’s flax sleeping bag on her own.I cringed. Don’t… I shook my head. Unless you want me talking about Leah like that, just don’t.

His mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. Fair enough. I’ve just never known you to be sensitive on that shit.Yeah, well, it’s Rachel.

Understood. Now what has you freaked out? What the hell didn’t you tell her?His eyes widened. What? She knew it was for the competition, right?