What are you smiling at, brother? Reece asks, giving me a grin.
He takes a breath that I don’t hear him release. I’ve never felt about anybody the way I feel about you. He doesn’t say it quietly. If anything, he says it too loudly and all in a rush as if the words have been wanting to tumble out for a long time.I sit up on my elbows, lie back down, sit up again. Are we talking about love?
I’ve never felt this way either, I whisper.But it’s different for you. There’s frustration in his voice.It’s your first time for everything, Maddy, but it’s not for me.
I don’t understand. Just because it’s the first time doesn’t make it less real, does it? Even the universe has a beginning.He’s silent. The more I think about what he’s saying, the more upset I get. But then I realize that he’s not trying to dismiss or belittle my feelings. He’s just scared. Given my lack of choices, what if I’ve just chosen him by default?
He takes a breath. In my head I know I’ve been in love before, but it doesn’t feel like it. Being in love with you is better than the first time. It feels like the first time and the last time and the only time all at once.
Olly, I say, I promise you that I know my own heart. It’s one of the few things that’s not completely new to me.Madeline: Atlantic or Pacific?
Olly: atlantic. What color are yours?Madeline: Chocolate brown.
Olly: more specific pleaseMadeline: 75% cacao butter dark chocolate brown.