And finally: What is wrong with me?
People aren’t stagnant. We evolve in reaction to our pleasures and our pains.Jesse is a different man than he was before.
I am a different woman.And what has confused me ever since I found out he was alive is now crystal clear: We are two people who are madly in love with our old selves. And that is not the same as being in love.You can’t capture love in a bottle. You can’t hold on to it with both hands and force it to stay with you.
What has happened to us is no one’s fault—neither of us did anything wrong—but when Jesse left, life took us in opposite directions and turned us into different people. We grew apart because we were apart.And maybe that means that even though we can finally be together . . .
We shouldn’t be.
The thought cracks open my chest.Wh-what are you doing here?
Taking you for a little rendezvous.He launched himself against me, crushing me between his steely arms and flinging me over his shoulder.
No! I screamed, lifting both knees and slamming them down against his rock-hard stomach. I was sure that I did more damage to my kneecaps than I ever caused him. I shouted again as loud as I could. Positioning my palms against his lower back, I managed to push myself up enough to wrap an arm around his neck. I pulled tight, pressing against his windpipe and locking him in a choke.He grunted in frustration and threw me back down against the bed.